Thursday, September 8, 2011

In the Quiet

Little D,

Hi my little one. I am currently watching my belly, seeing and feeling your little kicks and movements. It is both mesmerizing and surreal. Each day as you’ve grown I’ve been feeling you more and more. Last Saturday, your dad and I attended a friend’s wedding and afterwards as we were readying for bed in the hotel, I began to feel you kick for the first time. Not a quiet little nudge, but a full on thump. It is such a wonderful thing to feel you moving. You seem to be most active in the morning and evening, tapping my belly to say good morning or good night.

I am sitting in a hotel room again tonight, back in Baltimore for work this week. Baltimore is a familiar and special place. Your dad and I had some great years when we lived here. It was a place of many firsts for us. It was the first large city we lived in together. We made great friends and found our legs as we started our first careers post-college. We shared our first apartment as a married pair, a creaky and beautiful back half of a wonderful old house that still remains my favorite apartment we ever lived in. We had a small, unfinished studio in the basement and we would spend time painting and writing, listening to music and dreaming big dreams.

Even though we knew Baltimore would never be our permanent home, we made it our own and soaked up our time here, making the most of every day. On Tuesdays we would meet our friends for half-price crabcake sandwiches. We would frequent the dark bars of the city and listen to great live music, play tennis in the early morning hours before work, drink beers at the Brewer’s Art, walk around our favorite neighborhoods, explore the countryside, and reflect on the beauty of Maryland. We also took advantage of Baltimore’s proximity to other great cities and would often travel to visit friends in Washington D.C. and New York City. But regardless of where we visited, it was always wonderful to drive back in to Baltimore. I can't wait to bring you here someday and show you all of the special places and “firsts” that mean so much to us.

I’ve realized that hotels are lonely places when you’re traveling alone. Typically when I stay in hotels I’m traveling with your dad and we are usually out and about, rarely spending much time in the hotel room itself. I recall staying in hotels as a kid, feeling like it was the most special, most incredible thing in the world. I couldn’t wait to test out the pool and always begged my parents to order room service. I would pretend we were staying at The Plaza Hotel in New York and would sit at the corner desk, writing important notes on the small notepad. Later I would pocket the vials of shampoo, lotion, and the shoe shining kit from the bathroom.

But sitting here tonight is less lonely thinking about you. We are just over halfway in this pregnancy, with 19 weeks and a few odd days to go. I read this morning that you are now as big as a banana, around seven inches long and eleven ounces. My belly is beginning to swell in earnest, but I am still feeling good, despite beginning to feel large. I am looking forward to next week when we will get a glimpse of you again, our first ultrasound in 15 weeks! Last we saw you, you were a teeny half-centimeter with a body that was just beginning to develop. You were just a tiny spec on the screen. Now you are fully formed and growing larger. We will also be able to find out if you are a boy or a girl. I am so curious to know more about you and can’t wait to find out the news!

We have been busy preparing for you. Your dad recently refinished a dresser for all of your lovely baby things. Your crib also arrived this week, which we promptly unpacked and examined thoroughly to ensure it will be the perfect crib for you. Gifts have begun coming in from friends and family near and far and many wonderful cards and notes have arrived, which I’ve saved for you to read someday. I can’t wait for you to meet all of these special people. I hope you will always know how much all of them love and care for you.

Thanks for keeping me company tonight little love. I am so excited for the months ahead and tear up just imagining that first hello we will share. Keep growing big and strong and I will continue to keep you safe.

Love you,


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